Nations: Mania: FlagNations: Mania: Flag
I know what you're thinking.
"Manny," you're thinking, "we are positively moist in our admiration of the power and the dignity of the flag of Mania, but where can we buy one? Perhaps an offer of huge sums of money, sexual favours, and a selection of chocolatey snacks will persuade you to send us a flag which we can treasure at home?"
Ah, if I had an eblo for every time I have imagined being asked that by all the players in a women's rugby team! But the happy news is that there's no need to spend even an ebleto, for on this very page you will find all the information you need to make a Manic flag of your very own.
The process is broken down into eight steps, and each step consists of a practical instruction, and a symbolic meaning. Whether you plan to make your own flag or not, reading these will give you a unique insight into the ideas captured in the design of the flag of the Republic of Mania.
To follow the eight steps, you will need:
Inches & miles: not so much
measurement as occultism1. 5 square metres of black silk.
2. 5 square meters of white silk.
3. One bottle of dark red wine.
4. One sturdy metric ruler. (Failing that, a twig. Use an imperial ruler and your flag will come out triangular.)
5. One computer with drawing software.
Not a computerBegin by switching on your computer and starting your drawing program.
It doesn't matter very much what kind of computer it is, as long as it is quite definitely a computer and not (say) a washing machine or family pet you have clutched in a moment of confusion. The thing you're reading from now will probably do.
Mac user
Doesn't need my helpYou do need, though, one of those programs for drawing as opposed to painting. If you use Windows, you might try Microsoft Visio or Serif Drawplus, for instance. In fact, Serif have a site with older versions of their programs you can download for free at www.freeserifsoftware.com. The software doesn't have to be clever - the flag is easy to draw. You might find it even easier, though, if you set up a visible grid, and switch on snap to grid: the objects making up the flag are designed to line up to a simple squared background when drawn. If you use an Mac, you are legally an artist, and will only be offended if I offer advice. In any event, every program installed on your computer (spreadsheet, database, anti-virus software, whatever) will have a full set of painting, drawing, and typesetting tools included as standard anyway.
Valerie Singleton OBE
First lady of children's TVWhile making the flag, you may wish to pretend you are sometime Blue Peter presenter Valerie Singleton OBE. Valerie was showing children how to make sophisticated (if largely tubular) toys from toilet rolls and empty plastic bottles back when an X-Box was something which used to store soap-powder but had now retired, and is the flag-weavers' ideal role model. Have your hair restyled if necessary, find a white miniskirt, and try saying the phrase "sticky-back plastic" into a mirror until you believe you could pass for the first lady of children's television: it'll add to the fun!
Step one1. Draw this shape, fill it with red, and select a line width of zero or no line.
Be sure to set the line width to zero: simply hiding the line by setting it to the same colour as the shape doesn't quite work, as the thickness of the line slighty increases the size of the shape.
M is for 'Manny'What does it mean?
As Big Bird, the huge yellow avian creature from Sesame Street who has been terrifying children for generations, might put it: "M is for Manny". The letter has just been simplified as far as it is possible to simplify it without actually turning it into an 'N', or a stubby line of no fixed phonetic value.
As it symbolises a human being, the colour red symbolises the blood which supports life.
Step two2. Copy the 'M', and paste another beneath it.
Position it exactly as shown, and snapped to the grid, so that its highest points are level with the lowest points of the 'M' above.
Red is for socialismWhat does it mean?
This 'M' is for 'Mania' itself, and as Mania was inspired as an expression of socialist internationalism, here, the red symbolises socialism, and the struggle for true democracy, free of governments and the state.
Step three3. Vertically flip the lower M. Select both M's and make them a group.
This completes the central emblem or kiss.
Mania supports meWhat does it mean?
In this step, the M of Manny is left resting on the upturned M of Mania.
My feet rest on the ground of Mania, and Mania supports me.
Step four4. On a different part of your page, draw a circle eight squares across. Fill it with white and set its line width to zero or no line.
Once complete, you'll be left with a white, borderless circle against a white screen: unless it reveals itself by obscuring a visible grid (as here), you'll have to be careful not to lose it.
White is for peaceWhat does it mean?
White represents the light of reason. Not any particular rational opinion, but the process of reason itself. If a person of any view would genuinely change that view in response to a counterargument they considered sound, they are rational. If not, then even if they are intelligent, even if they argue cleverly, and even if they are right, they are not.
White also symbolises peace. The white flag on the battlefield reminds soldiers that their enemies are human, and allows parley. The white poppy was chosen to symbolise mourning for lives lost fighting on all sides, when the British state was trying to subvert the red poppy from its purpose of rememberance, to the promotion of nationalism, and the glorification of war.
Step five5. Drag the emblem over the circle. If it slides 'behind', use bring to front. Then select both the circle and the emblem, and align their centres vertically and horizontally, thereby centering the emblem. Finally group the emblem and the circle.
As before, the emblem and circle can be grouped because they will not move, relative to each other, again.
Never lean over this farWhat does it mean?
Think of this as a map of Mania. A living creature, symbolised by red, I stand inside. The white disc is the territory of Mania: that part of the world which is closer to me than anyone else at any given moment.
Mania is the space which surrounds me, literally and metaphorically. It is my claim to physical and intellectual liberty, pressed against the oppression of a state, which claims 'sovereignty' over the ground on which we stand, and our right to govern ourselves.
Step six6. Turn again to an unused part of your page, and draw a rectangle twelve squares high and sixteen squares wide. Fill it with black and set the line width to zero or no line.
Black is for anarchyWhat does it mean?
Black symbolises liberty and anarchism: individual freedom, and direct, unmediated, popular self-rule.
Step seven7. Drag the circle over the rectangle. If it slides 'behind', use bring to front. Then select both the circle and the rectangle, and align their centres vertically and horizontally, thereby centering the circle. Finally, group them.
The flag of Mania is now complete.
A map of the worldWhat does it mean?
Here, the map of Mania created in step five is put into the black background of the universe as a whole, and the flag is complete.
The human at the centre, in the circle of freedom and knowledge we have already won, and outside this the darkness both of the oppression to defeat, and the universe to explore.
Vivu!8. Now discard the ruler (which must be metric: it is no use discarding an imperial ruler or your flag will turn out yellow). Undress, and wrap yourself in the white silk and a good friend in the black, enjoy how it feels against your skin, and drink a toast together in good, red wine: "Vivu Respubliko Mania! Cxiu homo estas nacio!"
"Long live the Republic of Mania! Every human is a nation!"
On behalf of the Manic Government, and the ghost of the old Black and White British Broadcasting Corporation, we bid you click here and read out the following words:
For dressing as Valerie Singleton,
without stint or fear,
and beyond the call of duty,
you ...[say your name here]...
are awarded the highest honour
Blue Peter has to offer.
Step forward and claim your
Blue Peter Badge.